Ah: Christmas in Broken Barnet ... and a few changes, this year, courtesy of your Tory councillors:
Now that we and all our council services have been sold into bondage to the managing board and shareholders of Capita Plc, and Barnet has been 'ReBarneted', with their usual relentless drive for efficiency, our Tory councillors have announced that Christmas itself has been outsourced, and replaced by a rather more productive and profitable activity.
Oh do stop crying, children, and Councillor Coleman: you have only yourselves to blame. (Especially you, Brian. Christmas Carol: have a read ... think about it ....)
This year, readers, yes, Santa will be coming down your chimneys, as usual, but please do not expect any presents.
Crapita Santa does things differently, in order to reduce costs, provide a more efficient service, and maximise profits for 'Pole-Axed', the new 'North Pole' Joint Venture.
Residents of Broken Barnet: you will therefore be expected tonight to collect all your most valuable possessions, wrap them up in copies of your local Town Hall Pravda, 'Barnet First', and hand them over asap, as demonstrated above.
Crapita Santa will redistribute some of your gifts to a few close friends, sell the rest on Ebay - then charge you a call-out fee of £16.1 million for his efforts, plus £10 million consultancy fees for his sleigh designers, and reindeer suppliers.
Merry Xmas, Mr Pindar.
It's a Wonderful Life, here in Capitaville.
To console those of us who have had a difficult year, and maybe hope for something better in the next one, here is some melancholy music from Judy Garland, to make you feel even worse.
Best wishes to all readers, followers, friends, in real life - or what passes for it - and especially virtual: you are all lovely people:
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas ...
Mrs Angry x